b.a.c.k.

Woke up by the chirps of birds at 5:30 in the morning, in my own bed. I know I'm back home now.

The last two weeks seemed the longest in my life and I was feeling returning from a different world on the way from Shanghai airport back to Hangzhou. The field was all in dark yellow,as the canola plants were ripe and to be harvested. I remember it was lush green when I left, and just two days ago in Guilin, the paddy field very tender green with new rice plants.

Cities are different as we were.

It's a trip with too many changes, unprecedented. The group originally planned to go to Lhasa, Tibet, however, after the government closed down due to the unrest and riots, to foreign visitors, the programme was resheduled to travel to Lijiang and Chengdu. No wonder as soon as the group of alumi of University of Chicage landed at T3 new terminal at Beijing airport, the first question they raised was , 'Can we still go to Chengdu?' It was May 15, 3 days after the most deadly earthquake in last decades to China, hitting Wenchuan with 8 on scale, only hundred mile away from Chengdu.

'From the news, Chengdu is safe and flights to/from the airport have been restored.'

But in the coming days, the situation had developed far from our imagination. With more after shocks hittingin that area, death tolls rising, so many moments teardrops rolled down my face automatically, while watching the news, photos and reading stories behind. Too sad and tragic, especially those kids and students crushed under the rubble. I was happy when explained to the group there was possibility about the programe change, they acted very understanding.

I remember, in Xi'an, I shed tears again at breakfast, by a waitress handing over a newspaper all printed in black as a memorial for the dead 40,000. And rumor spread in this city, that the quakes would shift to the norther area from its original epicenter, like Xi'an. So for two days and two nights, we witnessed hundreds of thousands of local citizens fleeing or taking shelter on the streets on 19 and 20th. And by then, I knew we couldn't fly to Chengdu, due to the fact that the whole city had been mobilized to the relief work, espcially the tour buses.

In order to minimumize their travel mood, I kept the news secret until we finished the highlight tour to terra-cotta soldiers. On the way back to city, I explained the announcement. Thankfully, they took it very calmly and acted very cool with it. We were arranged to do the three gorges cruise instead of Chengdu and Lijiang ( flight via Chengdu there cancelled). But to me, the worst arrangement is, our group will be set in two teams, the majority of 12 flying directly to Yichang for the cruise, while I ,together with the oldest man, who travelled solo, were to fly to Beijing and then to Yichang. ( I still was not happy with lcal agent's arrangement.Just because he was alone?!In my opinion is this was not fair to him and least respectful for the elderly, who was 84 years old.) I tried my best and he accepted it. Thank you, Robert.

Left in Xi'an at 7 am, got to Beijing at 11, flied again at 2 and got to Yichang at 4 and reunited with the group at 6 at the airport before dinner.

The cruise on the gorges actually turned out to be the very relaxing and enjoyable. A nice new boat, Katarina under Victoria cruiser prepared rich activites aboard,like lectures, performances as well as offshore excursions, to the construction site of the project, boat into Lesser three gorges, and Ghost city.

We disembarked in Chongqing on 25, and in the afternoon, lying in bed, I felt the quake, horizontal way, lasting for about 20 seconds.Even it was my first time in my entire life, thank god, I stayed really calmand just waited patiently for it to go. It totally surprised myself. We were on 16 floor of Hilton, and the afterquake turned out to be 5.6 scale.

In Guilin, we knew that the quake hit Xi'an, and fortunately caused least trouble but in this new city to us, the thunderstorm during last couple of days, caused floods and over 50 people got killed. We were lucky with the weather, changing between thunderstorm in the morning, sunny near the noon and light drizzle in the evening. We made all the sun and avoided all the rain, so close within seconds. It was similar story the second day too after the boatrise on Li river.

Felt safe finally in Shangahi. But always the ever rising of death toll made sky still dark and gloomy. But life goes on and should be in a good way too, with so much support behind! So be brave and strong, to us all!

伤逝

To all those unfortunate lives lost in 2008, a shitty year, during the train clashes, virus outbreaks, and serious earthquakes, in cyclone and wars, here in China and the whole world.

mother day story

With the movie Zuo You ( left or right), which has just won the Silver bear best screenplay at this year's Berlin Film Festival, more and more people come to know about a mother, to admire all her heroic deeds to save her son while sharing her great grief of the loss of him.

The story was first published in September , 2006 in a Chengdu and only two days before the story broke, Yan Ying, a 39-year-old mother of two, had given birth to her third child. The baby boy had yet to be given a name, and had been brought into the world by his divorced parents in the hope that the newborn's cord blood could be used to save the life of his blood cancer stricken brother. Doctors felt that the desperate attempt had a 25 percent chance of success.

Qin Xinfa, Yan Ying's eldest son, was diagnosed with myelodysplasia in 2000 at the age of six. The rare disease, unofficially called "preleukemia," can develop into leukemia and is often life-threatening on its own. Yan Ying and her husband had divorced in 2002, but desperate to save her son she pleaded with her ex-husband to have another child. The husband agreed, but unfortunately the newborn's cord blood did not match. (Xinfa died one month later.)

She was invited to attend the movie premier in Chengdu by the director. But when the scenes came, she just couldn't control her tears still and collapsed. I understand, how could she ever forget the dark time she lived through:

All those nights she stayed up alone in great tears, on the hospital cold hall floors and even streets on a piece of grass mattress to save the money;

she was even once 'invited' to a police station because she could be whore;

then bad pieces news of failed treatments with building-up medical charges;

how at home, family fights erupted and her husband beat her when both so stressed;

her son tried three suicides;

the divorce conditions, she was to be responsible for all medical expenses, with her ex taking their second child and sparing her and her son no penny at all for life and medications,

how humiliated she was begging her husband to do it with her to made her pregnant again;

and then hope broke after long waiting;

how her boy told the ward mates to be respectful for their mothers;

how painful her son felt, and wanted a bowl of rice congiee, and when when she returned he was gone...

lake and rain

roses

Seemingly just overnight, all roses in the city are blossoming up, reflected on canals, over doors, on fences or off the stairs.

her escape

10 am, her first call on May 1st. Sounding still sleepy in bed, she mentioned, as inspired by my description of Wuzhen water town before, her interest to visit there with her other friends. She asked questions about means of transportation, accomodation choices and etc.

3 pm, her second call. Extremely loud and excited, she told me that she was already approaching the town,only 10 minutes away. (What a surprise!) Even after all her friends cancelled the plan, she insisted coming by herself. (yes, just do it!)She definately wanted to stay there and relax for one night, especially in the newly- open scenic section of Wuzhen.

6 pm, her third call. She's been inside exploring around. She liked the peaceful atomosphere there very much. All those old houses in the town, crisscrossed by zigzag canals and linked by stone bridges. Disappointed she hadn't found any available hostel rooms yet. After I searched, I SMSed her all phone numbers of hostels and wished her good luck.

8 pm, she called the fourth time. A little bit tired, she finally found one lousy place after trying all those numbers. It didn't have a perfect view at all and the lofty charge of 280 yuan.

3 pm, May 2nd, on her reply SMS, she enjoyed her escape this time, from one busy place to another,( may 1st, a total of 670,000 people visited the West Lake and Hangzhou city); but now she was exhausted and happily home finally.

impression west lake, video clips